Sometimes people get so reliant upon the word “pack” that they don’t really think about what a “pack” is. A pack is simply a social structure within which an animal lives. Humans are also social animals who live within various social structures, or “packs”. We have familial social structures, employment social structures and so on. It may be easier to understand how to establish yourself as the leader if you let go of the idea that a “pack” is fundamentally different than any other social structure.

The first problem with traditional notions of “alpha” is that we largely misunderstood the specific social structure relevant to our domestic dogs. As behaviorists studied wolves and the role of leadership in a canine-canine pack, behaviorists and trainers recommended we should try to imitate the relationships between wolves and establish ourselves as "alpha". Unfortunately, this analysis disregarded the fact that dogs are not wolves. Breeding and domestication have made dogs into animals that remain significantly more juvenile than the adult wolf. Because we left this critical distinction out of our analysis, we took the wrong model as the relationship we should strive for with our domestic dogs. We viewed the relationships between adult wolves and sought to structure our human-canine pack on what we perceived (and misperceived) as that relationship.

However, domestic dogs are more like wolf pups than adult wolves. A number of animal behaviorists have recently suggested that the relationship we should be looking to emulate is that of an adult wolf to a young wolf pup. There are behaviors in the pup which the adult wolf will and must correct, for the good of the pup and the pack as a whole. There are other behaviors which are "trivial infractions" which the adult will not waste energy correcting. Adult wolves don't waste time negotiating with the pup. If there is something the pup must do, it simply must, and the adult will ensure it does. It is not an emotion laden decision process, it just is.

Also, using these models, trainers and behaviorists recommended that humans try to emulate the physicality of one dog’s corrections to another dog in order to establish ourselves as “alpha” (Remember the Alpha Roll?). Again, these models were flawed.

First, we are not dogs. We are much slower than they are and our physical make up is completely different. That sounds obvious. But, a few years ago, a man in San Francisco was prosecuted for animal abuse for biting his dog on the neck. His defense was that he was simply training and disciplining the dog by "mimicking primal dog behavior of male dominance." (I’m not making this up. Read the story). We are simply not physically equipped to imitate dogs’ specific physical interactions.

Second, not only are we physically ill-equipped to imitate dogs’ physical interactions, we are generally not psychologically equipped. When an adult dog "corrects" a pup, it is a quick, decisive, emotionless process. The behavior stops, and the correction is over. In addition, the adult dog rarely "over corrects" or “under corrects.” That is, the correction is no more or less than it needs to be to get the pup to learn. By contrast, we tend to get bogged down in our emotions. We make corrections when we are angry, frustrated, scared, etc. Our corrections are imprecise, frequently inappropriate to the offense, and our timing is poor. We tend to stay in that emotional mess even after the event is over. As a result of our emotions, over and under correction, and physical slowness, we are significantly less effective in communicating the specific behavior which was inappropriate; we confuse the dog and reduce, rather than elevate, the dog's confidence in our abilities and trust in our judgment.

Finally, we have largely misperceived the specific interactions between dogs and then tried to adapt what we perceived as their physical behaviors to our un-doggy physiques, with our slow timing. For example, we saw "alpha rolls" as an act of dominance by one dog. In fact, further study and examination has made it clear that an "alpha roll" would be more appropriately titled a "beta" or "omega" roll as it is an act of submission by the subordinate dog, an acknowledgement to the other dog that they are not a threat and will not challenge the other's position. Canine communication can be so subtle, and their sensory perception is so vastly different than ours that our efforts to imitate their specific physical interactions are largely doomed to fail.

WHAT IS A LEADER?

Before I get to the meat of this, there is some terminology I want to clarify. Because of the flaws in the traditional alpha paradigm, I use the word leader rather than alpha. Alpha connotes dominance, not necessarily leadership, and is primarily associated with traditional compulsive dog training methods, using force, violence and aggression. Leadership is something entirely different. It is establishing yourself as someone your dog willingly defers to, looks to for guidance, trusts and follows. Leadership does not take force, violence or aggression. In fact, those methods are antithetical to good leadership as they violate trust and undermine relationships. When I speak of relationships, I am not talking about whether you and your dog love each other or have a strong bond. I am talking about the human-canine social structure, how the human and the dog view each other in relation to the other.

True leaders are quiet, confident, benevolent, fair and consistent. They rarely have to establish their position, their entire attitude communicates leadership and everyone knows it. Dogs and humans who waste time continually blustering to establish their position within the pack, who are not fair and consistent, who waste energy correcting trivial infractions, who can't effectively get a pack to follow their direction are dogs and humans who will not be successful. It is unlikely they will pass their genes on, and that is, afterall the biological imperative of most animals.

HOW DO I BECOME THE LEADER?

Being perceived by your dog as the leader largely depends on you and your dog, each of your natural personalities, physiology, and how you live your life. Some dogs are naturally subordinate, and some people are natural leaders. When these personality types are paired, there really isn’t much that the person has to do to establish themselves as the leader, they do it naturally and the dog responds accordingly. However, some people are followers, with softer personalities and some dogs are dominant or social climbers...that is, they want to be in charge. When these personality types are paired, the results can be very difficult for both the owner and the dog. Because there are such differences in the dynamics of each human-canine pack, there cannot be any one formula for becoming the leader of the pack. There are, however, some steps you can take to ensure that your dog views you the leader.

LEADERS INITIATE. FOLLOWERS REACT.

For example, your dog brings a ball and places it in your lap, and you throw the ball. The dog initiated (led) and you reacted (followed). Another example: your dog nudges or paws at your hand, and you absent-mindedly pet her. Again, your dog initiated you reacted. These are just two of the more obvious interactions, but there are many more that happen every time you interact with your dog.

If your dog is initiating most of your interactions and you are reacting, it is likely your dog perceives itself as the leader of your human-canine pack and you as a follower. If that is your situation, you need to flip the initiation/reaction scenario around. This is one of the principles underlying the “Nothing in Life is Free” program. For example, in the ball scenario, ignore the dog and the ball completely. When the dog goes away, you may choose to pick up a ball and start a game of fetch. It is important in this example that you wait until the dog goes away and gives up trying to get you to react. It is not enough if you pick up the ball and simply make your dog sit before you throw it, because the dog still initiated the interaction. In the nudging/pawing scenario, you have two choices. If you can anticipate that the nudge is coming (and you feel like petting your dog), give a command first (sit, down, whatever), then pet your dog. Here, it is important that the command comes before the dog has nudged or pawed you. Once the dog has nudged or pawed you, it is too late for you to initiate the interaction. If the dog has nudged or pawed you, ignore the dog and walk away. As with the ball scenario, you have to wait until the dog is not asking for attention before you give the attention. Once the dog is not seeking attention from you, again, give a command and then reward your dog with petting. If your dog ignores the command, ignore the dog. If the dog continues to pester you, walk away. If you choose to, once you’re away from the dog, turn quickly and call the dog to you. As soon as your dog comes, reward them with some of that attention they were working so hard to get.

SERENE HOMECOMING

This exercise is one of the most difficult exercises there is for most dog owners to do. It is also one of the most important. This exercise is an excellent calming exercise for dogs, making periods of separation less stressful. It also has the added advantage of continuing to communicate your leadership, because you are the one initiating the greeting.

For a lot of people, this exercise feels disloyal and unloving. It is precisely the opposite. We think of these over-exuberant greetings as an expression of love from our dogs; thus, not responding to that expression seems heartless. In fact, these over-exuberant greetings are an expression of stress; after all, even excitement is stress. If you think of the greeting as a manifestation of stress and not love, and realize that the serene homecoming will help reduce that stress, it becomes clear the serene homecoming is a better expression of your love for your dog than your own over-exuberant greeting.

More on the Serene Homecoming

DO I REALLY HAVE TO DO ALL THIS WORK?

The two exercises above require consistency and commitment. You cannot half-heartedly employ them and expect to make any changes in your relationship with your dog. These exercises are not about forcing your dog to obey you or turning your dog into a robot. They are about building your dog’s confidence by providing him with a leader he trusts. They are also about reducing your dog’s stress. Think about how stressful your life would be if you lived in a world where you did not understand the language, did not understand how things (like doors and cars) worked and yet were responsible for protecting and taking care of everyone and every thing in your house. That is essentially the burden we place on our dogs when we refuse to become the leaders. To say the very least, it is unfair. At worst, it can result in serious illness or behavior problems, such as aggression.

Just as we would not permit a 3 year old child to fend off threats to our home, or leave that 3 year old in charge of the house, an adult wolf would not permit a pup to try to "protect the pack." It is unlikely the pup would even think to make such an effort, it would be foolhardy, a large waste of energy and would likely result in serious injury. Protecting the pack is the adult's job, and if the adult doesn't do it the pack is unlikely to survive. The pup knows it needs to look to the leader of the pack for guidance, and trusts that guidance will come.

Similarly, it is our job in our human-canine pack to protect the pack, including our dogs, and to determine what constitutes a threat. In order to accomplish this, the dog needs to understand you are the leader and trust you as the leader. When we fail to give our dogs guidance, to establish that quiet, benevolent, confident, fair and consistent leadership with our dogs, we do them a great disservice.
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